How To Help Your ADHD Child Make Friends
For ADHD children, making friends is not an innate ability, but parents can use the following 14 ways to help their children fulfill their desire to make friends.
1. Give clear instructions: Children with ADHD don’t always know how to interact with other children. Expressing how they behave in specific and positive terms is more effective than using phrases like "nice" or "don't be stingy." Instead, tell your child clearly that "share, discuss, compliment others, and learn to take turns." And when you notice your child doing one of these things, let your child know that you're glad he did it.
2. Explain to children what a group is: The way for children to make friends is by joining a group of children who are playing or chatting; parents can teach their children how to join a group life through guidance. First, let your children know that if they want to join someone else's conversation, they should first stand quietly and listen carefully. If your child is interested in what others are chatting about, they can stay, and if they are not, they can leave. So if your child is still listening to other people chatting, tell your child to pay attention to whether he attracts the interest of the person he is chatting with, and if so, then they will invite your child to join their chat or even They are playing games together; if not, it means they don't want to be disturbed at the moment, so they can just leave.
3. Role -playing: rehearse social and dialogue skills with children, and instruct children how to perform in game dating; from maintaining eye communication, intervening, and saying some harsh words. Refer to the scenes that children will see in the game, and then teach the child how to speak. For example, "This is boring." You can teach the child to say "Can we play something else for a while?" instead of "This game is stupid." Or you can teach the child to say "Can we play something else for a while?" Teach your children to say, "How about we play UNO instead?"
4. Find the right playmates: Many children with ADHD lag behind their peers in social skills, and they are often more immature than those without ADHD; therefore, children with ADHD may feel uncomfortable with younger children. It's more comfortable to play together; therefore, your child will have plenty of opportunities to practice their friendship skills without being teased. Because a young child is likely to look up to his old friends, providing your child with a reward that builds self-esteem while also encouraging interaction with friends who are good at social skills is also helpful for children with ADHD.
5. Host activities: Invite three or four friends to your home to do something your child likes and is good at, such as eating pizza or playing video games. Or, plan activities for some special holidays, such as Halloween and Christmas. Before the activity day, remind your children of the concept that visitors are guests and help them understand that they are not always in charge of everything. "The visitor is a guest" can neutralize "bossy" or if there is a quarrel, it is also better able to resolve the dispute. Then, parents can find another excuse to hang around the child's room, and guide the child at the appropriate time according to the situation. Parents should also give the child opportunities as the child grows older, so that he can face different social situations, but the child If there are difficulties, parents can maintain an open chat attitude; they should also work hard to instill loyalty in their children's friendships. If another friend of your child calls and wants to hang out with your child, ask your child to reply to the other party, "I am very happy now." I’m busy, I’ll see you later.”
6. Behavior report card: List the social skills that have been fully practiced and successfully acquired. This method successfully lets children know to do the right thing at the right time! Such a social identity ultimately benefits the child. Often, behavior report cards help children accumulate points that they can trade with their parents for rewards they deserve. Often, the best rewards are activities such as staying up late, taking a bath, or playing video games instead of giving money or rewards. Expensive toys etc.
7. "No interruption" training: Children with ADHD often do not realize that they interrupt others or that their behavior will cause trouble to their friends. Simply telling them that they should not interrupt others is not very helpful. Even though they know it's wrong to interrupt others, however, ADHD children's impulsivity overrides their self-control. Parents can help their children conduct "uninterrupted" training. Arrange a task that can attract the child's attention, such as a parent on the phone, and then take a break every few minutes and review the situation with your child. If the child did not interrupt you during the phone task just now, praise him!
8. Ask the teacher for help: Ask the teacher if they can help divide the children into groups so that the children can do homework with others without making the children feel excluded or forgotten. In addition, working together with classmates can encourage children to practice social skills. In addition, teachers can also allow children to use after-school time to encourage the whole class to practice social skills, because when children are in a more relaxed state during games, they forget the differences between themselves and others.
9. Tease children: Good social skills can help children protect themselves from being bullied at school, and the most effective technique to face being bullied is humor. Practicing humor skills can help children recover from being bullied. For example: Pretend to cry (pretend to rub one eye with a clenched fist), say nonchalantly "So what?", "I heard it as early as kindergarten", "Wait until you get to the funny part. Let me know", "What is your focus?", etc. Once you have equipped your child with socially acceptable methods, you can role-play for your child to practice; use different scenarios, write different scripts, and even record yourself practicing with your child, and then review them together. The content of the video is to reinforce appropriate social behavior and also asks parents to help their children understand that it is normal to be annoyed by ridicule and teasing and not to cause trouble.
10. Set a good example: Demonstrate social skills to your children and be a role model for your children. Make friends with other parents, have relatives over for dinner, and teach your child simple social skills through parent-teacher conferences or church. Showing your child how you make friends may give him some ideas of what to do. Also, tell other parents about your child's social interaction problems and let them help your child too, as they may encourage other children to participate in activities with your child.
11. Take an interpersonal and social interaction skills class: Sometimes a straightforward approach works best. Parents can help their children sign up for social interaction courses, and use group courses to improve their children's social skills, interaction abilities, problem-solving abilities, etc. to cultivate their children's self-confidence and empathy.
12. Stay positive: Children's progress is often gradual, so when your child makes a little progress, please encourage and praise your child. When your child is learning new social skills, please don't punish him if he makes a small mistake. Be patient and give him advice when he needs your help. If your child complains that no one likes her or that she doesn't have any friends, be a good listener and let your child know, "It's true that children with ADD sometimes have difficulty getting along with friends, but there are ways to do this. Do you want to hear it? Your child will be fully focused on you at this time.”
13. Create special moments at home: 15 minutes of family time with your children several times a week. Two people do fun things together without orders or criticism. For example, if you are watching an MLB baseball game, you can talk to your child about his favorite player or which team has the best chance of winning the World Series. Building relationships with children in terms of friendships can lead to improvements in children, and some studies have shown that when parents build relationships with their children at home, parents immediately see better behavior in their children interacting with peers.
14. Accept and embrace your children’s differences: Children don’t have to be like everyone else! Not every child with ADHD will become a social adept. Research shows that just having one close friend is enough to develop self-confidence. Most socially disconnected children will eventually learn how to deal with their behavior and form their own friendships. Once puberty begins, children tend to behave in a socially appropriate way, and even if it takes a while, they eventually make friends.